Kids are stupid. That’s the general attitude towards children when you speak with most adults. I’ve observed that adults and even some parents tend to look down on children, considering them to be unintelligent, lacking common sense, and always making a big deal out of nothing due to immaturity. I would have to disagree. To me, that description more accurately describes my ex-girlfriend.
I teach the computer class for 2nd through 5th graders at an academically accelerated private school. All together I have 12 classes and roughly 315 students to get to know, teach, and grade every week. For 4th and 5th grade, they also get graded on typing proficiency. Each week they are all required to take a speed test and I record their average words per minute (AWPM) scores. Then, at the end of each trimester, I average all their scores to get an overall average and compare that number to the speed required for their grade level. What it comes down to is that for 4th graders, they need to achieve 23+ AWPM for an A grade in typing. 5th graders need 29+ AWPM.
In one of my 4th grade classes, one of my students, Cassandra, holds the current highest overall average for all of 4th grade. So far, she has gotten the top speed for 7 out of 9 weeks of this current trimester. Her overall average is 41.1 AWPM which is well above the necessary average for her grade level. Many of her peers are in awe of her speed and several have attempted, and failed, to dethrone her as the fastest 4th grader at typing.
Cassandra is one of my best students. Not only does she perform very well on all of her projects and typing, but her personality is full of respect, kindness, and maturity. For somebody that young, she has a good sense of when to be serious about her work and when to joke around. She also has a well developed sense of humor so that when I jokingly pick on her for misbehaving, she actually understands that I’m not serious and laughs about it.
The other day, on her speed test, she got a 40WPM score. One of her classmates, Kiki, who had often spoken of trying to beat Cassandra’s speed, achieved a 44WPM score which gave her the top speed of the week.
As a result, Kiki beamed with pride and celebrated about having the fastest speed. Announcing the top speed of the week is commonplace at the end of each class period. After 7 weeks of always hearing her name as the fastest speed of the week, Cassandra, along with her peers, all heard the name “Kiki”, announced by me, as that week’s fastest typist of the class.
This topic is generally received with support and encouragement from the classmates of named winners. Having the fastest speed in the class has absolutely no effect on if they receive a better grade for the computer class. However, it’s a nice way to instill some competition among the students and for them to admire each other for their achievements.
When class was dismissed and I was finishing walking that class back to their homeroom, I noticed that Cassandra was at the back of the line and her eyes seemed slightly red. My first assumption was that she had teared up from yawning so I jokingly asked her in a playful tone, “Hey Cassandra, why are you crying?” A few other girls in line giggled since they were used to me asking them similar questions when they were obviously not upset about anything. It is common for me to approach a student with a serious expression and then ask them why they are so sad which has always resulted in said student laughing and arguing that they are not sad.
Cassandra was smiling along with her classmates so it seemed like another typical joking matter and that she had actually just yawned. However, her lips quivered and she ended up unable to hold her smile that she was using to hide her true emotions from me. As her eyebrows started to curve inwards, I immediately sensed a problem so I shooed the rest of the girls into the classroom and pulled Cassandra aside outside the door of her homeroom.
It’s often been taught that when you speak to an upset child, placing your hand on their shoulder helps comfort them and let them know that they have your listening ear. I placed my hand on her shoulder and asked, “Cassandra…is somebody in the class bothering you?”
She shook her head, no, but did not speak, holding her lips tight while blinking heavily to fight off the tears.
“You do realize that when we joke about you misbehaving and such, we’re just joking with you right?” Cassandra nodded, yes, but still did not say a word.
“If something is bothering you, you can let me know so I can help you with it. Are you upset about something computer class related?”
Cassandra shook her head, no, once more but finally uttered the words, “Bathroom?” It took me a moment to comprehend what she meant since I was not accustomed to her speaking with incomplete sentences. However, she motioned with her hand towards the restroom and said, “May I go to the bathroom?”
Somehow, I knew immediately that she wanted to wipe her tears in the restroom, far from the nosy eyes of her classmates who would most likely pester her with questions of why she was unhappy. I let her go right away and she sped off towards the ladies’ room.
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20 minutes later was the end of the school day and departure time. The entire student body heads to the auditorium to wait for their names to be called as their parents pull up in cars, holding visor cards with student names printed on them. When I arrived to my post, I found Cassandra sitting with her friend Janie at the front table while student names started being called.
I took a seat next to Cassandra and asked her if everything was OK and she nodded. “What was bothering you?”
Cassandra looked down, apparently embarrassed to have shown me so much emotion from her typical stoic personality. Janie spoke up for her and explained that Kiki had bragged so much that it bothered Cassandra.
Inside my head I burst into laughter but on the outside I nodded. Moments like these always crack me up because it makes you realize just how small of a scope of the world these children have that something as simple as bragging can bring you to the verge of tears.
I reassured Cassandra that when people brag, their whole purpose is to make YOU feel bad because they are jealous. I told her, “You never have to tell people that you’re better than them because you already know that you are, right? You already KNOW that you have the highest overall average so you never find the need to brag. The only reason people brag to make you sad is because they wish they were as good as you. So don’t worry, OK?”
She managed a smile and nodded but it was apparent that Kiki’s bragging episode had a really strong impact on Cassandra’s afternoon. Moments after this conversation, Cassandra’s name was called and she left the auditorium to get into her mom’s car.
———
Departure ended and the rest of the day seemed pretty typical. I stayed after work to do paperwork and grading, followed by getting into my car to drive home. However, after I arrived at home and checked my email, I was shocked to find a Facebook notification telling me that Cassandra had sent me a messsage. Apparently she had gone home after school, searched for my name on Facebook, and sent me a message!
I opened my email notification and read this message from Cassandra:
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Subject: thx
Dear Mr. Lau,
Im okay now…………… Thanks!!!!!!!! I will c u the week after next week cuz im going on vacation to Ohio and Atlanta. It is my dad’s mom’s bday…… I will c ya!! Happy Valentine’s Day. What r u gonna get ur girl friend???? 
jk
Thanks,
Cassandra
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I was definitely astonished to read this because I never expected anyone to ever really feel appreciation and thank me later on for it. Let alone, a 4th grader who is probably 9 years old at most. Yes, definitely amazed.
Not only that but she even pulled out some humor at the end with the whole,“What r u gonna get ur girl friend???? jk”, bit that, generally, no adult expects a child to understand at that age. The students often ask me if I’m married or have a girlfriend so they are aware that I’m currently single. However, only students like Cassandra know how to use that bit of information and expertly poke fun at me for it.
I did not reply to her Facebook message but I’m pretty sure she knows she found the right person on Facebook considering how the following day, she knowingly stared at me with a big grin on her face.
What a great kid.
